Hi Guys

I know it has been a while.

Grief happens to us all, We can’t live without death and rebirth. It is the one thing you can bet on and know you will win.You know that at some point in your life Death will touch you.

Over the last two years I have had two close deaths, one being my Nanny who I was closely brought up with, after my Grandfather died when I was 3 Months old.

My Mother and Father moved us all to live just up the road from Nan to look after her.

My Nan was 80 when she died and was a very big lady, she had a great life, but in someways not. She lost her only son in his 20’s due to him falling off some scaffolding, and my Grandad when he was in his 50’s to a heart attack (an underlying health issue they never knew about.)

The death of my nan was inevitable, we got informed many times she was going to die, either because of her weight or smoking and fluid round the heart. She was 80, it’s still sad but understandable.

Within a  few week of my Nan dying, My mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, as many of you know from older blogs.

My mum spent 26 years looking after my Nan, and at times my Nan could be a funny woman, who would sometimes pick on us and make one the odd one out,with her children and sometimes us grandchildren! It was just nan! she would be fine the next week and you would be flavour of the month again!

I really felt, that after my Nan’s death my Mum would be free to have a life for herself, both my brother and me had moved out and her and Dad could have the time of their lives.

This of course came crashing down when I a phone call to get to their house as soon as I could.

My first thought was mum had a stroke, or a heart attack, that was bad but not the end of the world we could get her better, how wrong I was it was much worse.

From as young as I could remember, I hated smoking. I saw the adverts, I was taught in class – SMOKING KILLS!

I came home crying begging my parents to not smoke, they just passed it off “we have had this with your brother…” If they could look back now I wonder if they would of done things differently?

My world crashed into a million pieces that night, The one person I loved most in the world, the one who knew me 100% , my best friend… MY MUM had LUNG CANCER!

I hated the world, I was angry with her, how could she do this, she was going to leave me!

I fought with her for 14 months, thinking something would happen, I prayed to god, got married in a church, got blessed by the bishop of Norwich, I even would let people cancel their wine clubs at work to hope Mum would survive.

Sadly my Mum lost the battle in February (A week after Valentines day). Battling is definitely what my mum did, she kicked it’s ass as much as she could. The problem is the body can only do so much.

Grief is a funny thing….

My family has completely exploded, and I have to admit I feel very alone at times.

My Dad is left in a House which was full of friends and family coming to see mum, to no one but me, my husband and my brother oh and his cat Burt.

Family and friends got angry with the way dad dealt with it, he Drank and would go to the pub all the time.

On the day of the ashes, I cried my heart out, I have never felt so alone.

I am a 26 year old girl who lost her mother, my heart was breaking and felt like no one understood the pain I was in, they were all wrapped up in their own grief. I was so angry and alone. I just wanted my mother so badly.

People are easy to point and judge, but not look at the bigger picture. Yes my dad is down the pub all the time, he works there and he has friends there. What do people want him to do? Sit in his house in black crying. PEOPLE GRIEVE DIFFERENTLY!

I at this moment in time feel lost and alone, and also regret. Did I see my mum enough? Did I look after her well? all these silly things which I know she is shouting down at me saying “You were the best daughter ever and I loved you, I never wanted to leave you.”

I am also feeling so unmotivated it hurts, I hate it, I could sit at home lying in bed all day long.

I have had to go to a therapist as I can’t control the negative thoughts in my head, hoping this too will pull me out of my unmotivated self.

I miss my Aunt who looked after my mum, all I want to do is run in her arms and hug her. My mum and aunt were so alike and I miss having her around.

My aunt did an amazing job looking after my mum in her last months, which I thank her for. I always felt guilty and she comforted me saying she wanted to do this and to protect me.  Her friends were always there for her too, my Mum was such a lucky lady in so many ways.

Life sadly goes on, as much as I may dislike it and cry and scream, I wont get my mum back.

My dad is my main priority, I love him more than ever, he is so special to me, and if people are saying spiteful things about him I do get defensive like any daughter would.

Yes he can  be a bit silly, but he is only human and has lost the love of his life. No matter what people say about my dad I KNOW THIS, my dad loved my mum, and still does. Yes there will be a time when he moves on and finds another woman, and it will be hard, but he loved my mum with all his heart.

It would of been there 27th Wedding Anniversary on Friday last week, and it broke my heart seeing him, It’s bad enough loosing a mother, but loosing your life partner must be even harder.

I want to thank my amazing loving Husband mark, who has been the most amazing person in my life, I know you have some big shoes to fill now mummy has gone, but baby you are the best and I love you so very much xxx

All my friends have been amazing you all mean so much to me, I love you all  xxx

To my Daddy and my brother you two are so very important to me and I love you both more now than ever, Dad you are so special to me, I just want to wrap you up in cotton wool!

To my Cousins you are all my lil angels who make me smile all the time love you x

To Mark’s family, I feel what ever happens with my crazy family. I can always count on you guys. I love you all and you truly are FAMILY to me xxx

To my family, Some of you I know are just a phone call away. Life is hard and so very precious and maybe one day we will all get along again like old times, and as the old saying goes It takes two to tango! (I need to pick the phone up too lol) I still love you all xxx

To my Aunties and My mums friends for looking after her, and giving her the best care xxx

I want to dedicate this to my Mother, my best friend, my life. I love you and miss you more than ever, I will never know why life is so hard and testing, but loosing my guide is the hardest steps I have had to make.

Love you mum xxxxx

Well hello there guys!

Long time no Blog!

With my Mum, Christmas and moving house I sadly have not been giving my Blog the full attention I should be giving it!

So I am back, and ready to keep you guys updated of my crazy life and trying to loose weight.

So on Monday 11th January my new diet starts (again)

I weigh a hefty 13 and half stone, and all I want is to get down to 10 and half stone to be a nice size UK  12 – 14!

So today I am trying the amazing Slimfast diet.

I wanted to do Lighterlife, the starvation diet which you live on 500kcals a day and you put your body into Ketosis to burn all that fat instead of those carbs!
Sadly at over £90 a week I can’t really afford to do that. And also I know people who have turned into monsters on the diet, well starving yourself would drive you crazy!

So the cheapest option is the lovely Slimfast, similar in the way you live on shakes and stuff, but different in a way you can get one proper meal a day, yes I said it right a PROPER MEAL.

So my breakfast and lunch has consisted of a banana Slimfast and plenty of fruit and low fat snacks.

The game plan is to have a shake and then a snack every two hours.

I have to admit I have felt light headed with a slight headache (a bit like i am drunk!) and quite tired.

But my first week has been good, I surprisingly felt full through the day, and only really hungry the last couple of hours before my dinner.

I did visit my doctor, on Wednesday who informed me that Slimfast is only ok to do for a few weeks, but I thought hey, if I am not bored and it keeps me feeling full why not give it the whole month!

So of course, I may of abandoned you for a while, but I am back on track to keep you updated with how this goes!

NOW – Cat News!!!!

Yes there would have to be something on my blog about cats!!!!

I have just stumbled onto this new site thanks to ICHC, called FourFour The guy who wrights the blog has the most cutest cat ever, called Winston and really, any Cat lover worth their Hello Kitty collection should look at this.

Winston is a little Exotic short hair cream and grey cat who just loves his daddy! It is the most cutest cat ever,

I have added my Favourite video from the blog below of Winston in the shower!

I hope you all enjoy this!

Please comment on my Blog, would love to hear from you!!!!

Hey My lovely friends,

I am so sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. You see a lot has been going on since we last spoke.

I am now Officially Mrs Tewsday Of Hannant-shire yes me and Mr Sparky tied the knot, after 6 and half years together and 4 of those engaged we thought, with Mum and the cancer lets get Wed and have a mad PARRTAY! which it was!

As you can see Hello Kitty played a major part of the day – Die Hard Hello Kitty Fan through and through! Check out the hello kitty cake toppers in the picture above!

I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who came it was a amazing day and it was filled with so much joy and happiness.

I would also like to thank my Bridesmaids Emma, Clare, Holly and My Chief Bridesmaid Gina you guys rocked love you guys loads!!!!

Of course a wedding would not be a wedding without a Honeymoon and that was of course LUXURY all the way! We spent 2 glorious weeks in the Maldives at Kuredu which was out of this world.

We swam with Manta Rays, Parrot Fish and even found Nemo!
I wrote a great review at TripAdvisor so check it out.

Also we have now got a new Cat! Yes his name is Lester and today was the day for the BIG chop, he no longer will be out on the razz looking for da laydeez now!!!

Well think that’s a quick look at the last few months… Oh still trying to diet and go to the Evil Gym grrrr!

Lots of Love

tewsday xxxxx

P.s if you got Twitter FOLLOW ME!

Hi Guys and Girls!

Well life has been too hectic over the past few months. With my Nanny diing, my Mum’s Cancer battle, A shot gun wedding and to loose a stone before the big day!

So we finally have managed to plan the wedding and get it booked and sorted, It may of took us over 4 years buy finally we are on the road to marriage.

Like every Bride, I have got a dress too small and now having to beat the bulge and get my ass into this dress!

I have less than 8 weeks to do this.

I have tried:

Gym session made up by a trainer: Didn’t loose weight, Got told it will make me slimmer. (with a BMI of 31, i think i need a bit more than just toning!!!!!)

Low fat meals: ummm worked a bit, but i still felt hungry and kept cheating

Kellogg’s cereal diet: I have only done 1 day but it seems to work, i am not feeling too hungry, but today is my day off from work, so i had 2 low fat Hot Cross Buns (i really only needed 1, i feel well full!!!!)

So as you can see i am trying everything out! I am only doing Cardio and a tiny bit of weights on my arms for now. I just need to shift as much as possible, it doesn’t help when you have parties to go to and meals out…..

I have also thought about lent and what to give up…. I thought Wine (I love my wine) But I work with it, and having to go to a big tasting in Manchester in March would not help! (You can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, It’s rude!!!) So I have chosen my most wonderful treat i love…. CHIPS!

So with everything going on, I am fighting! I am fighting to be positive for my mum, I am fighting that i am so going to get in my wedding dress which my lovely friends at work brought for me, and I am fighting the gym (my arch enemy!)

I am a glass full kinda girl! I like to be happy and up beat, too many years of being a teenager bullied and being so unhappy, has taught me this.

I have so much to be thankful for, A loving family, great friends and a man I completely adore and love! What more can a girl ask for!

I of course will keep you updated on how everything goes…..

Lots of Love

Tewsday xxxxxx

P.s has anyone got any MAC hello kitty yet???

I really don’t need to say too much… but the new Hello Kitty Mac Cosmetics line is now available to buy online in the U.S.

Go there now

Of course you’ll need a friend in the America to post it on!

Hi Guys

I have finally joined the world of Twitter. (after watching Lorraine Kelly talking about Phillip Schofield on it!)

I have to admit, I understand the concept – Yes just like Facebook without all the apps!, but it’s  just not that easy to use. (Maybe i am having a blond day!!!!)

I found “following” people easy, but finding what people are talking about hard. I had to go to the bottom of the page and find a little block of links.

Then i noticed people replying to each other! Thought that was fun why not give it a go! That was even more harder, if no one is following you, you have to find the user name copy and paste it after the @ then sent it – what a long way around things!!!!

I am sure in time i will grow to love it, or get bored with it as i have with Facebook apps! (love facebook though, just not all those annoying “give someone a drink” lark!)

So if you ever are on twitter my user name is misskitty83. Very me you would agree!!!!!

Love tews xxxxxxxxxxx

After a quick search on Twitter for Hello Kitty tweets i was alerted to the fact that Hello Kitty is bringing out a Mac Cosmetics range!!!! I’ve signed up for the email alert at Mac Cosmetics straight away!

See a pic off the range on the right.

Hello Kitty Mac Cosmetics

However it looks like this will released in the US first. Thankfully for me i have an Aunt in America that’s coming to my wedding this year! Time to send her an email!

According to this post the new Hello Kitty makeup will out on February 10th.

Here’s looking forward to more Hello Kitty goodness,

Tews x

Hi Guys

Well I had bad news the other day, my mum has been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I am the first person to get angry and shout that she should of never smoked and I have always told her to give up since i was little.

Now the sad truth is that she has now got that dreaded c word.

I don’t bang on about it as much as my poor fiance who is as just heart broken by it all as me, he has a blog Final Puff which he talks about the dangers of smoking. Read his post dedicated to the news here.

The thing with Lung Cancer is you don’t need to smoke to get it, you can be just a innocent bystander; a kid whose parents smoke, someone who works in a bar (thank god for the smoking ban) or just someone with a partner or friend who smokes.

I don’t mean to play the blame game on people who smoke. I have lived with smokers all my life (My mum, dad, Brother, Aunts, Uncles and now evan cousins!) I just wish people would stop such a nasty habit.

Adverts do not work, people who smoke turn them off and don’t look at them, same with the adverts on cigarette papers.

It is such a hard habit to break, my Dad said to me a couple of days ago that he has been smoking for 40 years it’s not something he can just give up. His mother smoked all her life and gave up at 60, she sadly has really bad enthasemia so she can’t live without oxygen units throughout her house all the time.

Please anyone who reads this, Mums, Dads, kids, etc.. think. Think what pain you will bring your family if you get cancer.

I love my Mum more than anything in the whole world she is my bestest friend. She has been through so much, and most of that was with me. I had a horrid Teen life with being bullied and suffering with really bad OCD (which i still suffer with in bouts and i am sure this situation won’t help matters). She is my rock, my light, my angel, and i hate that smoking has done this to her.

So please try and give up smoking before you get the C word.

Tews xxx

Walking home i spotted a suspiciously pink banner on an AdShel bus shelter. It contained only a search box with Oohgle written in it. So being someone that is all too easily duped by advertising i checked it out when i got home. Turns out it’s a cunning marketing ploy by a marketing company out to prove the power of advertising. It worked on me with completely no prior knowledge of what Oohgle was all about!

Why don’t you check out Oohgle for yourself (you’ll then be an oohgler?!).. there’s prizes to be won too for a well known cola brand!

Hi Guys

I couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw a Hello Kitty soft toy dressed up as a Panda in a window of a kitchy toy shop in Norwich called Indiana’s Toy Store.

This store is not your normal toy store, this is much more fabulous! They have some crazy toys you just wouldn’t get anywhere else!

You can get Hello Kitty Lanterns, Stitch sunshine buddies and the craziest Barbie’s you could ever find.

The shop is small and can be quite cramped with so much stock but it is so worth delving in to find some great buys.

So if your looking for something kitchy and different for your Christmas presents, you will find it at Indiana’s.

It doesn’t matter how old you are there is always some cool toy you know even the biggest kid wil love!

Love

Tewsday x